be the light

Belle. 20/ infj and i love when the paper bleed

C R E D I T

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10/07/2018 | 0 comment[s]

i build and break myself,
i treat myself as a glass
when everyone confusing me as bricks,
unable to tell them apart,
but that is what brick for, right?
to rebuild myself
again and again

i cry when i mean to laugh
and sometime i laugh when i want to cry
call me dysfunctional,
call me crazy,
try fix me again
when everything seems to have fallen apart

i can almost barely tell the situation
either i should be happy or sad,
or should i keep quiet or serene
i cant even tell the difference between yesterday and today.
the past somehow seems to find its ways of merging with my present.

i stammer at my own words,
i swallowed my thought,
unable to make out sentences and idea
cause am mostly afraid the world will get a glimpse of my weakness

i move with my head held high
not that i am brave
but
only i scared if one day that the earth will swallow me
and i can no longer catching the glimpse of the hope in you eyes
because you are the only hope that i see.

i cry sometime but only when no one is looking
when the sunlight sleeps and the moon awake
and i realized that maybe reality is something that can't be fix
that i will stay broken forever

but god wont give up on me
even though his love sometime feel like poison
because i believe 93:4
and i will always believe

93:4 is surah dhuha ayat 4 and my favorite verse

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