I feel like I lost myself. This is so weird for me to say it out loud and weird. Mainly because a) no one ever pointed out my changes, b) im doing well and so much better. But either is it good or bad, I’m losing myself.

Im writing this at 3am, when a sudden wave of realization hitting me. I think this is identity crisis or just me being over dramatic.

Why, I thought that m a y b e, im losing myself is I no longer feels the passion in something that I loves. I loves reading, I love daydreaming, I love watching movies or tv series and thinking about the storylines, the character dynamic the cinematography and everything. But lately I just feel nothing. Reading feels like a burden, all the books that I haven’t read is collecting dust. Netflix and chill is literally Netflix and chill, I just watch it. But the worst thing is, sometimes I can’t even finish a good tv series and end up just watching few episodes before skipping through the last episodes. I don’t even bother to watch Wes Anderson new movie, even though I love and respect Wes Anderson’s art and works but I don’t feel the needs to watch his new movies because I know I need to use my brain to understand everything.

But that is just the beginning. I think I no longer full with emotion, I think I slowly feels………….. emotionless.

I can’t write. I don’t even remember the last time I write. I no longer can relate with other stories. When my friends share their problems with me, I can’t give any good words to them. Whatever happen to me, I just feels fine and okay.

I took a pride as a good listener. But now, I only can be a listener without giving any input. I don’t feel anything for my result. I just feel plain and gray.

And I cant even finished writing this because I just feel eh.

p/s: might retaking my mbti test because whoops there is no way that im still an infj

I feel like I lost myself. This is so weird for me to say it out loud and weird. Mainly because a) no one ever pointed out my changes, b) im doing well and so much better. But either is it good or bad, I’m losing myself.

Im writing this at 3am, when a sudden wave of realization hitting me. I think this is identity crisis or just me being over dramatic.

Why, I thought that m a y b e, im losing myself is I no longer feels the passion in something that I loves. I loves reading, I love daydreaming, I love watching movies or tv series and thinking about the storylines, the character dynamic the cinematography and everything. But lately I just feel nothing. Reading feels like a burden, all the books that I haven’t read is collecting dust. Netflix and chill is literally Netflix and chill, I just watch it. But the worst thing is, sometimes I can’t even finish a good tv series and end up just watching few episodes before skipping through the last episodes. I don’t even bother to watch Wes Anderson new movie, even though I love and respect Wes Anderson’s art and works but I don’t feel the needs to watch his new movies because I know I need to use my brain to understand everything.

But that is just the beginning. I think I no longer full with emotion, I think I slowly feels………….. emotionless.

I can’t write. I don’t even remember the last time I write. I no longer can relate with other stories. When my friends share their problems with me, I can’t give any good words to them. Whatever happen to me, I just feels fine and okay.

I took a pride as a good listener. But now, I only can be a listener without giving any input. I don’t feel anything for my result. I just feel plain and gray.

And I cant even finished writing this because I just feel eh.

p/s: might retaking my mbti test because whoops there is no way that im still an infj